Tired and Uninspired

CHAPTER 1: THE BREAKDOWN

''Do you love me?'' Amy said to her anti-self in the mirror.

''Well do you love me?'' Aubrey said, wanting to break out.

Aubrey was Amy's anti-self. Amy was a girl were Aubrey was a boy. Amy had long brown hair were Aubrey had short black. Amy had pale green eyes were Aubrey had piercing blue ones. They were total opposites. Amy was fun-loving, out going, and cheerful. Aubrey was violent, angry, and depressed. How could they love each other? Amy thought of love as a way of escaping your happy life into a happier one. Aubrey thought of love as a sick way of God making you suffer. How could they be together? Amy was on one side of the mirror and Aubrey the other. Plus, Amy was human.........Aubrey was a demon.

''Do you love me?'' Amy said while looking into the eyes of her anti-self.

''Well do you love me?'' Aubrey said, wanting to break out from his glass prison.

Amy went to go sit on her bed, that was right across from her mirror, and said ''It's not right for me to get to close to you.''

''Why can't you just say what you mean?'' Aubrey said angrily. His blue eyes glowed red turning them a sickly purple.

Amy flinched. Even though she knew he couldn't hurt her, his words were just as powerful.

''Answer me!'' Aubrey yelled.

''Do you want me to tell you?'' Amy said nervously.

Aubrey put his hands on the mirror, inviting her to do the same.Amy got up and did. The love that flowed out of Amy, through the mirror, and to Aubrey was to much to take.

''Why can't you say that?'' Aubrey spat.

''You first!'' Amy rubbed her hand together in a atempt to get the burning feeling out.

Silence. They look into each others eyes, looked into each others worlds, and realized it could never be. Aubrey was a demon. Brought to hell by the sins of his human life. Amy had a human life. How could he try and take it away? She need a person that could help her, listen to her, touch her. What did he need?

''I can't be with you'' Aubrey said quietly. ''No matter how much I might love you.''

Amy broke down in tears and sobbed ''I.Love.You.Also.'' She made every word into a sentence.

drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

Amy's cell phone rang. She didn't answer. What could be more important than this? Amy got up and went to the mirror. She put one hand up, like she did before, and waited for Aubrey to do the same.

''Kiss me'' Aubrey said. He knew how dangerous it was to be getting close to Amy when they already loved each other.

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

Amy's cell kept ringing.She ignored it and said ''This is so wrong.''

''Our love was meant to be wrong.'' Aubrey put his lips close to the mirror.

it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow

Amy, after a long minute, put her lips so if they were not blocked my a mirror they would be kissing.

such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later now
you can't await your own arrival
you've 20 seconds to comply

That's when it happened. Aubrey fell out of the mirror and fell on top of Amy. Aubrey felt warm against Amy's body. They continued to kiss each other passionately. Did they not realize that they coud touch each other? Or did they not care?

Aubrey broke off the kiss and cussed ''Dammit. Fuckin' MIRROR!'' He looked at Amy and said ''A kiss? Are you serious? How fairytale can you get?''

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

Amy sighed. If they were calling this much it is probably important.She got up, with Aubrey following her every move, and got the phone.

''Hello''

''Amy! It's me Zoe'' Zoe was her best friend and, sadly, Olly's,her ex-boyfriend, sister.

''Yeah, what's up?'' Amy giggled as Aubrey lick the side of the neck.

''Olly's dead!''

Amy froze.

'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

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The lyrics that are not in bold are from the song Let Go by Frou Frou. There will be more to this story but the chapters might be a little short.

P.S There might be make-out/sex scenes in this story so if you find that offensive I AM TELLING YOU NOW to stop reading.

the medic droid. you heard of them, put them on your ipod cause they are cool at the moment then forget about them until they make another music video or when you randomly find out they have a new ablum out. this is a band that should be forgotten

alesana has romantic lyrics that no poet can match

breathe carolina. this is just a great band to play when you need to party

pierce the veil. this IS a band that you need to know

park avenue only has 2 songs out right now but they have an incredible sound that must be heard 

fairfield is a hot new sound from the uk

hopes die last. out of all these bands this is the one to give the most attention to

i hope u check these bands out: the medic droid alesana breathe carolina pierce the veil park avenue fairfield hopes die last rock on!!

MY STEP DAD  NEEDS TO LEAVE ME ALONE

I'M SORRY IF HE CAN'T FIND A PLACE FROM HIS FAMILY MEMBER TO BE

BUT WHY IS HE IN MY FUCKIN' ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M TRYING TO CELEBRATE MCR DAY COS' IT MEANS ALOT TO ME BUT

DON'T ACT LIKE IT'S NBD COS IT IS A BIG DEAL!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS FOR NOTHING DAD

I'LL JUST HAVE THIS CREEPY STRANGE MAN SLEEP IN MY ROOM

FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!!!

I'M 13 AND I DON'T THINK SLEEPING IN MY BROTHER'S AND MOM' ROOM

IS A GOOD WAY TO MAKE ME FEEL IMPORTANT

COS IT'S FUCKIN' ANNOYING

PART 1:

I thought I would never learn to breathe again. My passion for killing was unexplainable. Being 16 is hard enough, but having this need to kill everyone I cross paths with on top of that is too much. There is only one person, one girl, that I feel the need to protect. Ariella Vancar, my heart. Ariela has light brown hair that looks like it should be in a shampoo comerical and emeral pale green eyes that burn into your soul. She looks like she shold have  been born in the 1800s. Her features  are very sophisiticated and very soft. They seem to balance each other out. Ariella is the only person I feel the need to protect, besides my mother. Maybe it's because she's always alone or maybe because it's the way she holds herself like someone is going to hit her....Whatever the reason I can't let her out of my sight when were at school. Most girls look at her ike she's a...a monster? No not monster but there something there.......maybe jealous? Yeah that has to be it.

I walk home thinking about her. How do I talk to her? I've never been good with people. My passion was to strong to be around anyone. So I didn't have friends growning up. I'm happy by that fact. People are shallow and crued....well besides Ariella.....and my mom. I smile t the thought of my mom. She knows how hard it is for me to get out the door in the morning, not that I'm scared of the outside world. I'm just worried that I'll disappoint my mother and end up killing someone. Not that I would feel bad for killing that person but I would feel bad about letting my mom down. Oh and trust me I let her down a few times. Last year we were living in a small town in Alanta. I happen to kill 5 teenagers. All male. They were making fun of me for still being a virgin. I whipped out my knife that I always had with me and striked at the leader. The others were frozen with shock so it was easy to take them down.

I walk up the steps to my house and turned the knob slowly hoping that dad was still on his trip.

''Ronnie?'' my mom called from the kitchen.

''Yeah'' I answered back. As I came into the kitchen I saw she was still making dinner.

''How was school?'' she turned around and looked me.

''Hell....with a pinch of sunshine dust'' I smirked then grabbed a few cookies from a plate on the table.

''Dinner's almost done. Can't you wait after dinner to eat that?'' my mom said with a frowne on her face.

''You know how I feel about cookies. They are milk's...favorite snack'' I said fighting a smile.

''Don't be a smart-ass. Your not milk and Max and Ally are gonna want that if they see you eating those. You can spoil your dinner but your not going to spoil theirs.''

Max and Ally, the twins, were 8 going on 9.

''Does that mean I can eat the cookies?'' I said with hope in my voice. I knew I won this cookie battle.

''Fine but hurry up and wash up for your dinner'' my mom said in defeat.

I finished dinner rushing to my room to go to bed. We had no homework today and I was glad. I took my clothes off leaving my boxers on and fell asleep.

I was dreaming I could tell. There was no way that this could happen in real life. I was covered in blood from head to toe smiling at all the dead people that I killed. Then an angel that looked like Ariella came into my sight. She raised her hand and signaled me to her. When I got closer the angel broke into pieces and the wind carried her away. I stood there confused and satisfied. I killed who know how many people and it was enough.........

I was out the door,ipod in hand, and walking after Ariella.

DAY 136:

The way you are walking today it's like you know I love you and that I'm watching you closely.

I turn up the volume on my ipod so it doesn't look like I'm stalking her and close my eyes.

Take a breath and tear it apart
See things crystal clear
And then scream against me
hurt me beat me

We were just joking like clowns
Handling life and letting it drown
"are you kidding me?"
I heard myself loud
Because I shouldn't let you go
Can't be waiting anymore

I've got enough of senseless cries
It's not easy to break through
But then scream against me
hurt me beat me

Stand beside me
Let me see what those hands hide
Don't be scared about me
I am here just to see you die

White dressed angel let me try to take you high
take you as high as i can fly

Stand beside me
Let me see what it tastes like
Don't be scared about me
I am here just to see you die

I committed suicide
I just died to see you cry
But don't blame me
That's my only sweet laugh
So don't blame me
I couldn't reach the afterlife
So don't hate me
Because i've never felt your heart beating

White dressed angel let me try to take you high
take you as high as i can fly

Writing desperation through heartache and joyful smiles
Blue and happy at the same time

I opened my eyes and freeze. I'm in the middle of the road and a car is fast approaching.

''RONNIE NO!'' a beautiful voice calls.

I turn to see that it was Ariella yelling to me. I'm so happy that she even knew of my name that I didn't realize what to do until it was too late. I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew blackness covered my eyes.

'I am here just to see you die' were my last thoughts

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Okay I know this chapter was pointless with the cookie thing but I want to tell how he is with his mom. The song that Ronnie was listening to was Call me sick boy by Hopes die last.

CHECK THEM OUT ON THEIR MYSPACE:

They are a really awesome band. okay so I hope my one reader reads this lol

Have you ever felt the need to kill? I have. Everyday since pre-school. Have you ever loved someone so much that you would do anything for them? Even kill? I have. I first saw her walking, alone, to school. I wanted to say something to her. I was a few feet behind her, watching.When I see her it's like I can fight against what's pulling me under and taking me apart slowly.

I LOVE YOU. I wrote her a note in red ink and slipped it in my pocket. I'll never give it to her.

Have you ever watched someone so intently that the whole world means little? I have. Have you ever thought about someone so much  because you love them but know very little about them? I have. I felt my heart skip as she walked a little faster. Does she think I'm stalking her? Even though I am.....in a way. Have you ever sorry for yourself? I have. I write little notes to this girl, my love. Everyday I write them in creative writing class because that's my only class with her.

DAY 1:

You are beatiful

DAY 2:

If time stood still I would want to be with you.

DAY 3:

I think I love you.........but I know it's to soon to tell

DAY 4:

Marry me?

These notes could go on forever.

I see her walk into the school building. I turn up my ipod and let the music take me away.

Some days we're brave,
and others we sleep with our sorrow.

Bound by demands,
it's been so hard just to find you.
I can't explain how you capture me.
I'm so tired of watching reruns,

This is the season that you capture.

You're in my eyes,
I'm seeing ten times better,
Love is waking us up,
I'm seeing ten times better,
Much better.

Some can't escape,
While others are fixed on tomorrow,
Searching through space,
It's been so hard just to find you.
I can't explain how you capture me,
Over and over.

This is the season that you capture.

You're in my eyes,
I'm seeing ten times better,
Love is waking us up,
I'm seeing ten times better,
Much better.

On the way for you,
On my way down,
My gift, my curse to you - is that I'm all around,
I'm all around you.

You're in my eyes,
I'm seeing ten times better,
Love is waking us up,
I'm seeing ten times better,
Much better.

It's been so hard just to find you.

The song ended. It's been so hard just to find you. I laugh, a dark laugh, and head to my class.

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What do you think? Oh the song that Ro- I mean the person was listening to was Capture by Sighlo.Please check them out! So I didn't like the other story I was writing so I said screw it and started this one! I like this one MUCH MUCH MUCH better! I hope sum1 reads it.

PART 2: TALKING

''We got to stop meeting like this, Rochelle'' Gerard said. He laughed then pulled his hand away from my mouth. ''What? Speachless because of my beauty.''

I finally snapped out of it and realize this was Gerard. Then I snorted. ''Yeah cause your so damn fine'' I said in a sarcastic tone. But if I was being honest he was more then fine. The way his eyes told a story....it made me want to read them forever. There was a little danger in his gaze, a little sadness, was that lust? No it wasn't he could never think of me that way. It wasn't possible.''Why are you here anyway?'' I asked.

''You don't want me here?'' he pout then a devilish smile spread across his lips.''Fine I'll go but I won't like it.'' He started to get up and I panicked.

''NO!!!! DON'T LEAVE!'' I shouted really loud. Then I blushed in embrassment.

''I knew it'' he sat back down and that smile came back.

I back tracked . ''Knew what?'' I asked a little annoyed

''That you loooooooove me'' he said in a sing-song voice. ''This was easier then I thought.''

My face got redder ''No, I don't love you'' I lied but it didn't sound right. ''And what was easier then you thought?''

''Nothing'' he sounded honest but his eyes hinted that it was a lie.

We sat there for a minute until he asked me if I wanted to take a walk with him. Of course, I said yes. He helped me up very gentlemen like. I was even more impressed with him (if that waspossible)

''So you wanna play a game?'' he asked as we passed a dirty pond.

''A game?'' I asked amazed again.

''Yes a game'' he said surpised at my tone.

''Um...okay'' I said cautiously

''It's called Truth. I ask you a qestion and you have to answer it honestly. Then the other way around. Who ever lies loses, of course.'' he smile a big smile like this was the greatest game ever.

''But how will you know if I'm lying?'' I asked. What if he asked me if I liked him? I couldn't tell him I did.

''Oh I'll know'' he smirked. ''I'll go first, ask me a question.''

''Um...why are you talking to me?'' I asked. I really wanted to know. How can this guy like me?

''Give me a challenge! Okay because you very pretty and I hear how Frank talks about you. I had to find out find out if you really were 'A beautiful person put on this world of ugly to give us hope' Quoted from Frank himself.''

Shock drowned my face. ''Really'' I squeaked ''He said that?'' This made me strangely happy.

''Yep'' Gerard sounded disappointed. ''But I like you more''

He grabbed me roughly and I almost protested if it wasn't for his lips meeting mine. It was warm very warm. Like a campfire. Even though he kissed my lips the feeling started at my toes. Warming my body up like the wool blanket your mom used when you were sick....but softer. He broke the kiss of and I whined.

''Don't worry'' he said ''There more to come...and more to lose'' he whispered the last part so low I'm not even sure that's what he said

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Sorry it's soooooo short but I'm still working on the outline and I wanted to get some in to day

PART 1:MISSED SIGNALS

I hate this park. I thought as I rounded a corner to a deserted path. My family is very wealthy because of some great ancestor (?) we had a long time go who apparantly stole a painting that was worth over a million dollors. They recently found this painting 2 years ago under our name and gave us butt loads of money for it. I told my dad to just wait longer because it would be worth more but no. He had to sell it to the highest bidder, which was some art muesum in France, right away. Anyway we live in New Jersey (I know we're fuckin' rich and livin' in this hole) and I'm starting my 2 year of high school at Belleview with a bunch of preppy people. And I am the 'emo' unhappy child of a rich family who was forced into doing cheerleading because it would make mommy happy. HAPPY MY ASS!!! She's never at any of the games to see me 'bring spirit into the hearts of  our student' as the girls on the squad say. There is only one heart I want to bring 'spirit' into and that is Gerard Way, the new kid. Gerard Way is 18 and is in his 4 year of high school. I only really started going into cheerleading because of him. Gerard went to his first football game November 5. I first spotted, him at the game, getting a hot dog (that boy has a fetish for hot dogs that is just creepy). I watched him all through the game. I didn't notice that it was half time and time for us to preform until I heard one of my guyfriends Frank Iero (the cutest and most smart ass punk kid) get up and start cheering.

*FLASH BACK*

''One Two Three FOUR!'' he cheered ''Baby girl wipe the FLOOR!!!!!!!'' That was his usually cheer when it was time for me to cheer.

I got up and ran to the rest of the girls who were waiting for me with angry expressions. I got into place then tried to hold a smile in place.Fall Out Boy's rock song of the year Dance, Dance played from the speakers and we began our routine. I don't even like this song. I thought as I did a backflip (yeah I may hate cheerleading but I'm damn good at it). Then the unthinkable happen Gerard wearing nothing but a thong came into my view as i glanced at the sidelines. What is he doing? I wonder but didn't care. GERARD IS IN A THONG! I wanted to run over to him and hug him. His body was slender with a some-what of a six pack. Even though I wanted to run over to him he ran over to me. No he ran around the field.

Then he started yelling  ''LET IT ALL HANG OUT!'' On his back was a tattoo that had 'ART' in bold letters in between his shoulders.''LET IT ALL HANG OUT! LET'S SAVE ART!''

All the cheerleaders were staring at in digust and cursing. I on the other hand started clapping and jumping up and down. Soon after the kids in the stands followed my lead and started cheering too. Gerard flashed me a big smile and then actually came towards me and knocked me over. He put a hand over my mouth then kissed his hand. I nearly screamed. Even though he didn't full on kiss me it was still special......

*BACK TO PARK*

Now it's March and Gerard hasn't even glanced my way since that special night. I sigh in sadness and digust. Sadness because of Gerard and disgust of this park. It's so dirty here. I sigh again and go lay down behind a bush I'm sure no one can find me behind. I drifted a little to sleep when a soft hand comes over my mouth. I open my eyes amazed.

''We must stop meeting like this, Rochelle'' Gerard says..........

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My first fan-fic..be nice!

I might continue it if i get commets!

(I might continue it aways)

this is what my story is about (to give you an idea)

frank iero,gerard way,my chemical romance,love,horror,abuse

masonville hour needs our support! And so does MCR!

Okay it says i have to verify my email adress before doing any of this stuff but I DON'T HAVE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The first time i setup this account i used my friend's and he deleted it now!!!!!!

I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!

(NOTE: I maybe PMSing)